Are you at your wits end because your child is trans, gay or queer? Are you wondering why your child is doing this to you? Why they won’t just be normal? Why they won’t just respect you as their parents? Have you asked yourself, “After everything I have done, given, sacrificed and taught them, how could this be happening?” Or even, “What did I do wrong; how did I fail them?” Have you prayed and begged for things to go back to how they were before?
I get it. I think having these questions is normal, common and natural. What a mature, responsible, loving parent says and does when these questions arise is what matters. This is where I can be helpful.
There are a truckload of assumptions baked into the questions in the first paragraph that we can sort out later.
For now, here are my assumptions:
- You love your kid.
- You want to have a positive, healthy, happy relationship with your children.
- You do NOT want to “lose” your child (ie. you kick them out, they run away, one or both of you refuse to talk to or be with each other)
- This relationship is impacting other family relationships too (ie. with your partner, other kids)
- You truly do not understand being trans (or gay, queer, etc.).
- Your child wants to be connected to you with a healthy, positive, respectful, happy relationship. Your child wants to be someone that you are proud of.
- If you are not now, you will both become increasingly desperate to fix the stressed, unhappy relationship.
- You cannot control or make decisions for your child.
- You need a safe place to be heard without judgment or causing additional harm to your loved ones.
A nonjudgmental pastor or chaplain has historically been a person locally in whom you could confide and consult. Today it is challenging and uncommon to have access to a pastor who has inside knowledge and experience of the trans, gay or queer existence and also has the extensive training of a chaplain to listen and profoundly hold space for big, difficult, complex thoughts and feelings.
Have you ever arrived at a place and time in your life when it felt like everything you have ever done has prepared you uniquely for this moment? This is my experience right now.
I know the religious world and I embody it. I also know the LGBTQUIA+ world.
Plus I have a heart to serve and extensive chaplaincy training to sit in these difficult spaces.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m nobody’s savior, I’m not God and I do not hold all the answers. But I am uniquely gifted to journey with you for a little while and perhaps reduce the pain and increase the joy in your lives.
Please book an appointment with me as soon as you are ready for things to be better. I’m here to help at skatiejustice.com.
